What Do Your Kids Need Most From You During & After Divorce?
If you or anyone close to has been through divorce, you know that is very rarely easy for anyone, especially if children are involved. Some kids find themselves wondering if their parents getting divorced means that they are unloved – or at fault – or won’t see one of the parents enough anymore, etc. Sometimes they also worry about being separated from siblings, friends, their school, activities, and other things that have become familiar and important to them.
While parents can and will frequently assure their children that the divorce has nothing to do with them, many kids can’t help but be affected – sometimes feeling hurt, or acting out, as a result. During this difficult time, it can be helpful to keep in mind that there are things that you can do to make the process easier on your children; keeping in mind what matters most to them in terms of what they need from you; as we discuss below.
A Supportive Adult
First and foremost, it may sound obvious, but the importance of “being the adult” is sometimes easier said than done. While it is understandable that a child may act out – and it can be difficult to address that behavior in the heat of the moment – it is really important to follow up and make sure that it does get addressed and you talk about it. Experts emphasize that children need a parent who is decisive, supportive, and there to provide the stable environment that they need.
Stability & Routine
While your children may need to transition between homes and schools after the divorce, keep things as “normal,” and routine as possible. This includes working to remain flexible and allowing them to stay connected to the friends, activities, etc. that are important to them. While most parents want to make sure that they establish a 50/50 split when it comes to time sharing with their ex, this being flexible if your child wants to spend an extra night at your ex’s house to see one of their friends can also make a huge difference in terms of helping your child feel protected and stable, and that their parents are putting them first.
Flexibility & Support
Another important thing to keep in mind is that bad mouthing your ex will often only cause hurt to your child. Make sure that you do not use your kids as a “sounding board” for your issues with or to obtain information on your ex. If your kids want to talk, they will do so of their volition.
Experienced Florida Family Law Attorneys
If you are going through divorce, child custody, or support issues, you don’t just want to work with any divorce attorney; you want to work with someone who can provide you with the best guidance possible, and who also cares about your wellbeing and that of your family. Contact our Orlando family law attorneys at the Arwani Law Firm, PLLC today to find out how we can help you protected your interests and future.