Divorcing With Adult Children: What Should I Be Aware Of?
These days, more and more couples are getting a “gray divorce,” where they seek out separation after the age of 50 due to a variety of factors, some of which include age, finances, intimacy, etc.
Whether you have children who are three or 20 years old, it is important to remember that divorce can affect them very similarly. Their parents being together is all they’ve ever known, and two parents simply waiting until the kids are out of the house to divorce doesn’t typically help alleviate any anger and hurt. Below, we have provided some specific guidelines for those who are seeking a divorce and have adult children:
Encourage Cooperative Parenting
Bad mouthing the other parent can destroy the relationship that you have with your children and cause them to resent you. It can also lead to them experiencing a significant amount of discomfort. Although cooperative parenting can be difficult, pushing aside your differences with your ex can sometimes not only be the best thing for your kids, but for your relationship with them as well. In fact, in some circumstances, experts might even decide that associated behavior rises to the level of abusive.
Also note that being respectful of the other parent includes being respectful towards the individual that they have chosen to be with in a relationship (in time; after your divorce). This—along with being able to communicate with your ex—can also be helpful in terms of coordinating holidays and shared time.
While many couples try to spare the details of the divorce to younger children, unfortunately, this same reservation isn’t always applied to older children. Oversharing the details with your adult children can not only make them uncomfortable, but it can place too much of a burden on their shoulders and cause them to resent you. Instead, embracing health boundaries with your children and saving the details for others in your lives, such as friends and therapists, is often better for them in the long-run.
Do the Necessary Planning With an Attorney
Part of this process is also going to involve some planning for the future, preferably with the assistance of your divorce attorney. This includes how you will support yourself, allocate resources, where you will live, etc. It is a good idea to make these plans with your attorney instead of planning to rely entirely on obtaining assistance from your adult child.
Florida Divorce Attorneys
In today’s world, more and more people are seeking out a divorce in the second half of their lives, after their children have already left the nest. If this is you, know that you are not alone, and that everything will be fine; but there are some dos and don’ts when it comes to your relationship with your adult children. Instead of involving them too heavily in the divorce, contact one of our experienced divorce attorneys at the Arwani Law Firm today to find out how we can help you plan.